Hello my son!!! Welcome to here, welcome to my life, to your life, to the beginning of your steps on solid ground! Welcome to your family! You are the most amazing person I have ever known..I wait and watch for your eyes to open so I can see them. I listen to hear your breath to know your alive. I wait til to wake up to pick you up and carry you. I am utterly exhausted but I cannot sleep knowing your here. You are soo much like me, its frightening I can see so much of myself in you. Even in how you sleep now. Your arms up around your face and your hands on your chin. And you can sleep solidly just like me. We cannot even wake you up sometimes to feed you. But that's ok. Your here now, I'm here now and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure your safe and warm and full of life.
Your birthday is the Celebration of St. Bonaventure. Apparently a huge figure in Church history but his bio was really long so I didn't read it all yet, but I will. Your also born on the same day as your great grandmother on your mothers side. You're in the bassinet right next to me and I watch you dream whatever baby dreams there are. I watch you sniffle and I watch the bottom lip quiver as you start to cry. I wonder who you will be, I pray that you live into your name and know how to listen to the Lord. I pray He makes himself known to you in radical ways and ways you can show others. I am sitting next to the grand mystery. I think of how Jesus came down just like you. From a womb. Awesomely small and precious. I remember your first cry and I KNEW you were mine. It's like music to me. I started writing you songs, and singing things made up from how much I love you.
I've learned that you are the greatest invention. You were created in ways which are beyond scientific dissemination. Processes are mere descriptions, you are Art. Beyond the weaving, beyond the telling, you are a living masterpiece who's depth is just being discovered. I hope someday you'll read all these words and hear my voice speaking them. I hope you become who the Lord designed you to be. I pray I lead you in that way. I pray you are strong, wise and caring. Wise enough to let your emotions guide your mind and wise enough to know when your mind must guide your heart. I love you! I am going to try and get a half hour of sleep. Love
Your Father.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Final Countdown
Hey Little Samuel,
You are just about done. Your mother and I have set up everything around the house for you. Got your crib, your diapers, your clothes and just about every other conceivable thing a baby could need. It's a TON of work to get ready for you. I am slowly realizing what my parents went through when they had me. The sudden rushes of putting everything together and then the slow wait as you wonder what next to tackle. I am really wondering how we are going to do it all. These next couple of days (or weeks) of pregnancy for your mother are going really slow. She can't wait for you to show up, and neither can I.
You are a mystery in the grandest sense of the word. We have no idea what is coming but we do have this, we love you more than anything. A love that goes beyond anything I've ever encountered. Your family tree wall is set and we hope you meet everyone on there and get to hang out with them soon. When you have your children you'll realize the same things we are. A whole new room in your life is opened up and the lights are slowly coming on. The next phase will be stupendous and ridiculous, sublime and other, just beyond your understanding until you encounter your own children. You do repeat your parents sayings, because that connection is drawn to its fullness when you have children. Your world is supremely opened and your view is enlarged. There are somethings that experience can only truly teach just make sure you experience the Good.
Use your ears my son, listen for everything and listen for the Lord, live into your name, be blessed by it. I love you very much,
Your Dad.
You are just about done. Your mother and I have set up everything around the house for you. Got your crib, your diapers, your clothes and just about every other conceivable thing a baby could need. It's a TON of work to get ready for you. I am slowly realizing what my parents went through when they had me. The sudden rushes of putting everything together and then the slow wait as you wonder what next to tackle. I am really wondering how we are going to do it all. These next couple of days (or weeks) of pregnancy for your mother are going really slow. She can't wait for you to show up, and neither can I.
You are a mystery in the grandest sense of the word. We have no idea what is coming but we do have this, we love you more than anything. A love that goes beyond anything I've ever encountered. Your family tree wall is set and we hope you meet everyone on there and get to hang out with them soon. When you have your children you'll realize the same things we are. A whole new room in your life is opened up and the lights are slowly coming on. The next phase will be stupendous and ridiculous, sublime and other, just beyond your understanding until you encounter your own children. You do repeat your parents sayings, because that connection is drawn to its fullness when you have children. Your world is supremely opened and your view is enlarged. There are somethings that experience can only truly teach just make sure you experience the Good.
Use your ears my son, listen for everything and listen for the Lord, live into your name, be blessed by it. I love you very much,
Your Dad.
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