Your here!

Hello my son!!! Welcome to here, welcome to my life, to your life, to the beginning of your steps on solid ground! Welcome to your family! You are the most amazing person I have ever known..I wait and watch for your eyes to open so I can see them. I listen to hear your breath to know your alive. I wait til to wake up to pick you up and carry you. I am utterly exhausted but I cannot sleep knowing your here. You are soo much like me, its frightening I can see so much of myself in you. Even in how you sleep now. Your arms up around your face and your hands on your chin. And you can sleep solidly just like me. We cannot even wake you up sometimes to feed you. But that's ok. Your here now, I'm here now and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure your safe and warm and full of life.

   Your birthday is the Celebration of St. Bonaventure. Apparently a huge figure in Church history but his bio was really long so I didn't read it all yet, but I will. Your also born on the same day as your great grandmother on your mothers side. You're in the bassinet right next to me and I watch you dream whatever baby dreams there are. I watch you sniffle and I watch the bottom lip quiver as you start to cry. I wonder who you will be, I pray that you live into your name and know how to listen to the Lord. I pray He makes himself known to you in radical ways and ways you can show others. I am sitting next to the grand mystery. I think of how Jesus came down just like you. From a womb. Awesomely small and precious. I remember your first cry and I KNEW you were mine. It's like music to me. I started writing you songs, and singing things made up from how much I love you.

  I've learned that you are the greatest invention. You were created in ways which are beyond scientific dissemination. Processes are mere descriptions, you are Art. Beyond the weaving, beyond the telling, you are a living masterpiece who's depth is just being discovered. I hope someday you'll read all these words and hear my voice speaking them. I hope you become who the Lord designed you to be. I pray I lead you in that way. I pray you are strong, wise and caring. Wise enough to let your emotions guide your mind and wise enough to know when your mind must guide your heart. I love you! I am going to try and get a half hour of sleep. Love

Your Father.